Thursday, April 16, 2009

Beast: 1, Rachel: 0

The Beast nearly did me in on Sunday night. Wow.

He was sitting on the carpet, looking relaxed and happy with himself, when, BLARGH, he puked all over. This dog eats raw meat, so it was special.

Then before I can even think about how I'm going to get the meaty bits out of this carpet that's really less like carpet and more like basketweave, he's had liquid poo all over the floor. Then before I can get to the kitchen and back with a paper towel, and oh, the smell, he's walking around the apartment wagging his (very messy) tail, and leaving a trail of poo along all the walls.


Bruno felt fine and frisky after getting all that out of his system. Parker ran to a far corner of the condo to avoid the smell and cleaning duties. I still haven't fully recovered.

The last few days have been a blur of after-school program, school show rehearsals, online addiction, and one of the worst sleeping schedules I've hit on in a long time.

A few highlights:

Child raises hand and waits to be called on to say, "Excuse me, I burped in my mouth."

Got hit on by a guy who "identifies with animals" to the point of dressing up like them. No.

Learned a house song that LMack wrote for Dixon. I begins with the words, "One day Justin was meditating on a strange white block that he got for his birthday." Other strange treats from Dixon include Santa morphing into an elephant and being forced to do tricks while all the children in America disappear, teacher Tim being kept as a pet in a cage and made to see plays . . . I'm excited for this show.

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