Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Signs you're writing a critical thesis

You abandoned your car in another neighborhood with the explicit intention of forcing yourself to take a three mile walk to, you know, clear your head.

You're excited to babysit because it's one sure way to get a break from thinking, and because the baby's storybooks will likely be the only thing you read this month not related to your thesis topic.

You're making questionable food choices (see Exhibit A below).

You purchased a pint of Ben & Jerry's One Cheesecake Brownie ice cream and started eating it with your fingers in your car on the way home.

You've lost the ability to fall asleep before 3:30 am, and when you do sleep, you dream about the mafia, ancient evil that lives under your old high school, and . . . the critical thesis.

Failing to sleep, you watch the last three episodes of the second season of Dexter, oh so good, while knitting a baby hat, while thinking about which of your acquaintances are most likely to be secret sociopaths.

Your days have melted into one long day, you've lost all perspective, on your thesis, on your life, and it all points to Monday, when the first draft is due.



Spice Girl said...

One more sign: you've taken to your bed. Permanently. Index cards, notepads, photocopies spread out in an intellectual abundance everywhere. The strange looks your family gives you don't register anymore, because all you see are aristotelian motives in their every movement.

Someone, please save me.

A Large Slice of Cake said...

Oh my gosh. I laughed so hard at the image of you eating ice cream with your fingers. And further: while you were driving? A new high.

So glad we're all in this together--and congrats on being done!