Monday, December 22, 2008

Junk Lady

Anybody remember The Junk Lady from Labyrinth?

She was terrifying. Much scarier than David Bowie, who was awkwardly erotic but not exactly menacing.

Going through my closet at my parents' house reminds me of The Junk Lady. If I tried to carry all the random stuff that's in there around with me, I would quickly turn into a goblin. My sister helped me do some clearing out. This is just a dent that doesn't include the giveaway bags or the "try-to-sell-on-ebay" stack . . .

Here are some of the finds:

A giant poster of a storm trooper with my name on its head from the Star Wars-themed Thanksgiving feast my high school senior class hosted. Yes, you read that right.

An unfinished paper model of Notre Dame.

A finished, but lame, paper model of Green Gables, complete with stand-up paper Anne and friends.

Some VERY cracked and clunky pottery (one in the shape of a sea sponge if that gives you any idea of what we're dealing with).

A humongous sweatshirt from a college I did not attend. My high school crush went there (until he got kicked out) and I purchased the shirt while on college tours as a talking point? Lame attempt to bond? You'll have to ask high school me -- she was a little nutty.

The Invisible Woman, an "exciting dimensional model of the human body with skin, skeleton, and vital organs."

A gazillion t-shirts from the sorority I briefly joined at my parents' insistence, but dropped out of as soon as I realized that belonging to a sorority means you have to spend time there.

A dried-up set of "Multicultural" Crayola markers with eight different skin tones.
I thought these might be a relic, but no.

The BLAAAG of the Asian American Alliance at Columbia University has them tagged under "institutional racism." I'm not sure if that means they think the markers are a good thing or a bad thing, but clearly my instinct was that there's something out of date here. Maybe because they make diversity as an "special problem" that you can choose to address or not address by purchasing this product? I know my young self thought they were sweet, but I would have been just as happy with any big set that included a full range of colors . . . I digress.

Getting rid of it all feels good. Lighter.

No comments: