Delayed reaction

I think I'm having a delayed reaction to the downside of graduating, or rather, it's sneaking up on me a teensy bit at a time.

EXHIBIT A: My obsession with day planners, online organizing tools, and the like.

The last time I spent this much time researching planners, I was working in a crazy Hollywood job that I hated but couldn't figure out how to leave. I think my brain convinced my brain that if I could find the perfect planner, I would somehow find better, more perfect things to plan in it. Right now, I do have some idea of what needs planning, and I'm excited about a lot of those things. So no need for the stress, right? Right?

I did discover a couple of positive things. I've started tracking what I eat at The Daily Plate. And I'm going to start budgeting with Quicken. I cannot afford a life coach, so the internet will have to do.

EXHIBIT B: The library.

During my trip to the library today, I saw the children's section upon entry and felt a sharp, unanticipated pang at not needing to go over to the picture book section and grab a stack to read for my monthly bibliography. I compensated by immediately booking it to the young adult section where I checked out Naughts & Crosses by Malorie Blackman and The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart. Phew!

EXHIBIT C: Barriers to writing.

Real or imagined, these are coming fast and furious. They range from the mundane . . .

"Clearly, I cannot write in an apartment this messy."

. . . to the absurd . . .

Writing would be much more productive, energizing, and healthier if I set up a treadmill desk for myself, like Arthur Slade's. Don't get me wrong, when I say absurd, I don't mean the desk is absurd. I WANT THE DESK! But the idea that I can't write without one is utterly absurd.

My writing process seems to be on a seesaw, dependent on whether I can trick myself into keeping my school routine going. Remember that promise I made last post to write in the afternoon -- broke it.

Yesterday was a GREAT writing day.

Today was not.

One thing I'm fighting is this sense that it's summer, school's out, I deserve a break from the constant pressure of packets. I do. But not for long, because writing makes me happy. Writing lots makes me happy. I'm going out of town for what will be a relaxing, writing-free weekend, and then I'm going to do some serious scheduling in my serious (yet-to-be-bought) planner and hold myself accountable.

Cynsations led me to the treadmill writer. She also led me to . . .

EXHIBIT D: Oh so much longing at seeing pics of the graduation celebration Austinites threw for a couple of my classmates. It's so sweet! I know and like so many of the people in those pictures! I want to be there!

I want a giant children's writing community in Chicago!

Sigh. I guess this means I will have to make an effort to stay active on the VCFA forum, get to know Chicago's SCBWI, form a writers' group, etc., etc., all those pesky community things that I haven't exactly lost by graduating, but which I now have to work harder to keep going.

And, you know, maybe I should throw myself a party.