Roll Call

I'm a whiny girl who wants comments. One of my friends recently told me he doesn't read his friends' blogs because he feels like he's invading their privacy. Invade away! This blog is for mass consumption. Who's out there?

Mermaids do Exist

Some of the promised visual aids from weekend adventuring . . . I would show more of the mermaid, but she's not clad. She's elusive, but once you get to know her, she will chat you up. We're like sisters.


She's inspired the seed of a story, which I'll write and dedicate to Nicholas. I'm writing that here so you can harass me, Nicholas, if I don't. How's that for accountability?

Today's work: Great day -- a ton of obsessive revision within two big sections. It was good work. And I woke up with more writing enthusiasm than I've had in weeks. First thing in the morning I journaled about my story, why I'm writing it now, etc. for a good 1,000 words.

I woke up thinking about something I read on a writer's blog -- wish I could remember which one -- about how you have to allow your project to become something different from what it was when you started. That didn't click with me immediately, but it clicked this morning. I realized the story I'm telling, the reason I'm telling it now, has changed a lot since I started, and I've got to embrace that. The raw material I started with could have gone in a dozen directions. That's neither here nor there. I can only write this book, this way, right now, and it will be what it will be. It felt good.

Currently reading, well, read: Good Girls by Laura Ruby

And I leave you with the cover art for the as-yet-untitled CD I'll be making with my new friends -- photos by Nicholopogus. Title suggestions are welcome in comments.

To put things in perspective

My Dad took this picture of Parker with the family dogs, Ripley and Max, when I was at my residency in Vermont. I had a funky day today, a let-down from the weekend no doubt, but look at these three just looking.

Did a bit more than 1,000 new today and some serious work on a poem. I'm not thrilled, but have to give myself credit for pushing through. I wish I could say it didn't feel that way, but today it did.

Spring

I had an amazing time with Nicholas and friends yesterday, exploring places I hadn't been in years with a friend I hadn't seen in ages and three other amazing folks who I hope to keep in my life. If Nicholas will share some of the photos he took, I'll add visual aids.

I was about to write that it's been a long time since I made new friends. Then, I realized that I've been making new friends left and right this year with finally branching out in LA, getting to know all the new Monkeys back in Chicago, and starting my graduate program. At some point I feared I'd passed the optimal time in my life for making new friends, so I feel blessed that it's been so easy to meet and get to know great people this year. Within our group of five, then six, last night, we had three or four different points of association, but it didn't feel that way. I felt like I'd known these people forever.

We went from Wilmette to Evanston to Rogers Park to Humboldt Park to Bucktown to Wrigleyville and home. We quested for a mermaid, learned about grey magic and Chinese medicine, had curry at Thai Sook Dee, waved at Russian horses, shared some serious sushi, and paid a late-night visit to the lake. The weather made it all the more amazing as it was the first really warm day -- I actually have a bit of sunburn -- and it felt like an invitation to adventure and celebrate. So great to get out in the city with no agenda other than to enjoy the people you're with -- I've been needing that -- and with such great people! Nicholas told me my capacity for love and joy had grown since he saw me last. I have to agree, but it felt good to hear someone else say it, and I'm happy to say the same is true of him.

The Wilmette Barrel of Monkeys show went off brilliantly. We're performing in this deep space, an old movie theater, and showing titles and videos on a screen throughout the show. It was pretty sweet to see such a deep space filled so well and to hear the reactions of an audience with a higher percentage of kids than we usually get for a public show. After the show, I met an adorable girl with blond curly hair -- four or five years old -- and when I held my hand out to her, she kissed my palm and pressed my hand to her face. I take that as a good review.

No writing yesterday what with all the adventuring, but today I did another chunk of revision with some new stuff: 1,671. I was pleased when I checked out my page count to see I'm doing better than I thought, but I need to work steadily until my next packet's due, and I have a bunch of reading before I can write the paper I want to do on using memory vs. flashbacks.

What time it is in my head

So, on my Google page, I have a theme up that changes pictures with the time of day. It honestly surprised me to see the nighttime picture instead of the afternoon one -- even though it's well after 9 pm.

Yes, the computer just told me it's nighttime. Little sleep last night (though I did get a ton of reading in) and another early rehearsal. Luckily, Wilmette opens tomorrow so I'll be able to write in the mornings again. It makes a big difference.

Speaking of which, come see the show, yeah!



1,516 revision, another 250 new. I might have gotten some clarity on a couple of points -- I've been bothered lately by "the facts" of my novel, timelines, consistency, and I made what I think are a couple of good decisions about that -- but today didn't feel good overall. And that's got to be okay.

I feel a bit like I'm trying to hold onto one of those slippery hot dog toys -- does anyone remember what those things were called? They were red-orange, a tube that rolled into itself, probably toxic, filled with liquid, and sort of repulsive to look at. Am I the only one who remembers that particular eighties make-your-own-fun toy? While I'm working on one end of the novel, the other slides out of my hands. Got to keep pushing through this junk.

Visitation

Okay, so I've done around 1,000 new this evening plus some revision even though I had a sleepy day.

We had tech rehearsal for the Wilmette show at 9 AM, and I had trouble going right to bed after rehearsal last night, even though I looked tired enough that people were hugging me and telling me to go home and get some sleep. It had been a full day -- teaching followed by a few hours of non-school-related writing and editing, and then our last pre-tech rehearsal.

This weekend, an out-of-town visitor will be my motivation. I'm going to push to get tons of work done when I'm not seeing him so I'll be able to enjoy myself when I am. He's an angel from my past who always inspires me.



Nicholas opens himself, and anyone around him, to possibility, whether you're ready for it or not. He's a trickster and a witch's boy and a holy man. When I first met Nicholas, I needed to be around someone who'd allow me to believe in anything and everything, who wouldn't put boundaries on my friendship or my imagination. During the time I knew him, I was pushing myself, wrestling and changing, and he, along with a few other angels, helped make that one of the most positive times in my life. I would not be who I am today if I hadn't met him. He's key.

And I haven't seen him face to face since 2001.

Sublime

So it says there right in my tagline that I'm trying to remember the sublime in everyday life.

I submit to you two things:

First, should you ever decide to put strawberries on your cereal, instead of slicing them with a knife, try tearing them apart with your hands. Yank off the leaves, bite off the white part, then rip that sucker apart. It's a unique sensation and a satisfying one.

Second, in the past few days, I've been making good on my promise to pay more attention to writerly doings online. I decided to submit to a freelance gig, and guess who the contact person turns out to be? The woman I subletted from for a year in LA. Hilarious. This is not to say I'll get the gig, but there's something so satisfying about synchronicity. Maybe it's not a rational belief, but I choose to believe in it. I choose to believe that this weird coincidence means I'm on the right path, that I'm moving towards something good.

Using the game as a reward the other night totally worked. I got a lot done. Had a great conference with my advisor on the phone yesterday evening, and today, did a bit more than 1600 words in revision plus gathering material to submit for the gig. Tomorrow, I'll take on some new stuff.

Currently reading: Born Blue by the inimitable Southern lady, Han Nolan