Sweet Relief

I'd been putting off working on my thesis most of the weekend, really resisting. But tonight, I thought, tonight I would get some work done.

Here's the thing, though. I've been feeling anxious and antsy for the last couple of weeks. You may have noticed it here, me going on about wilderness and obstructions and killer lobsters. I've been feeling like I need to get away somewhere (but I just got away), or reconnect with old friends (done that too), or unleash my inner romantic (oh, did I ever).

But none of that helped. All weekend I looked forward to this morning's Monkey rehearsal thinking that would do it, working with people onstage. And rehearsal was fun. But it didn't help. I left rehearsal feeling a cold coming on, and I took a long nap, and read some in bed, and experimented with vlogging, and thought about starting a nutrition program, and took a walk, and none of it helped.

And THEN, while I was watching the closing ceremonies of the Olympics (which also didn't help), I visited, on a whim, the 2nd Story website. 2nd Story's an ongoing storytelling, wine, and music series that a bunch of my friends work on. I listened to some of the podcasts, and they made me want to write, and I knew right away how stupid I've been, trying to work with laser vision on my critical thesis and not do any creative work on the side.

I don't get to turn creative work in for school until I finish the critical thesis. But I am a writer. And writers must write. And when they don't write, they get really cranky.

I know this, so what took me so long? Aside from my sense of duty to the thesis, part of what's been holding me back is that I've lost my momentum on my longer projects. They need focused attention, and my attention's focused on my thesis. But tonight I started something short, the mermaid story I promised Nicholas, oh, four and a half months ago. Ah, I feel so good for having written. 767 words, and slow words, because I was really enjoying playing with them.

Currently reading: A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula Le Guin